Read This Before You Regret

For Wives
Twenty Golden Principles

PART-01

(01) Prepare Food with Remembrance and Thoughtfulness

The food prepared by women at home enters the bodies of family members and becomes their nourishment. If the food is cooked without considering cleanliness and with negligence, instead of light (noor), it will create darkness (zulmat) in the body. Righteous wives remember Allah with their tongues while cooking; this was also the habit of the female companions of the Prophet ﷺ. Some companions used to recite three verses while baking bread on the oven. Women should try this: if they feed children with ablution (wudu) and remembrance of Allah, the children’s obedience will increase; and if they serve food to their husbands with ablution and remembrance, love in the husband’s heart will grow.

PART-02

(02) Develop the Habit of Completing Work on Time

Another important point is to develop the habit of completing every task on time. Do not postpone today’s work till tomorrow. When many tasks accumulate, none of them can be done properly. Nowadays, the problem is that women do not consider household work as worship but as a burden. Sweating and enduring hardship in household chores is like earning the reward of performing the night ablution (wudu) and praying Fajr. Therefore, a wife should accept household work happily and think that Allah will be pleased with her because of these tasks. A Hadith says that a righteous woman is the one whose heart is busy remembering Allah and whose hands are engaged in work.

PART-03

(03) Keep the House Clean and Pure

Some women have a habit of laziness; everything is scattered and disorganized at home. Allah does not like this. A woman should keep the house clean and pure with the intention of pleasing Allah. Purity is half of faith. Take great care about cleanliness and avoid laziness completely. If the house is messy and untidy, it harms you; diseases arise, and insects like mosquitoes also increase, causing fever. Staying clean protects against illnesses, InshaAllah (God willing).

PART-04

(04) Do Not Spread Rumors or Half-Truths

Many women have the habit of telling their husbands incomplete stories and then mixing several lies to hide their own faults. This is a very bad habit and a dangerous sin. According to a Hadith, it is enough for a person to be considered a liar if they spread every heard story. Sometimes, a woman reveals the secrets of her husband’s family to others or tells her own family about her household matters. This is also a grave sin and a root cause of many troubles. It is important to avoid this behavior.

PART-05

(05) Send Off Your Husband with Prayers and Welcome Him with a Smile

Whenever the husband is about to leave the house, always see him off with prayers, saying "Fi Amanillah" (in the protection of Allah). Righteous wives always send off their husbands and children with prayers and see them off at the door. When the husband returns, no matter how busy the wife is, she should welcome him with a smile. Doing this relieves the husband’s fatigue and ignites love in his heart.

PART-06

(06) Wife Should Clean and Prepare Herself Before Husband’s Return

When the time for the husband’s return approaches, the wife should clean and prepare herself. Usually, wives neglect this; they beautify themselves like a bride only when going outside but remain untidy in front of their husbands. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to, upon returning from travel with his companions, stay outside Medina for a while and inform the city so that wives could prepare themselves for their husbands’ return.

PART-07

(07) Visit Relatives with the Intention of Maintaining Family Ties

Whenever there is an occasion to visit relatives, such as a wedding or other events, visit them with the intention of maintaining family relations (Sila Rahmi). Allah loves maintaining family ties. Visit while observing the rules of modesty (parda).

PART-08

(08) Encourage Your Husband to Give Charity (Sadaqah)

Keep encouraging your husband to give charity because calamities are removed and provision is blessed through giving charity. With the husband's permission, you should also give charity yourself and teach the children the habit of giving charity. Allah protects from calamities and increases blessings through charity.

PART-09

(09) Designate a Place in the Home for Prayer

Set aside a special place in the house for praying. If the house is large, dedicate one room for this purpose. Ensure it is kept clean and arranged with a prayer mat (musalla), prayer beads (tasbih), and the Quran. Encourage the habit of sitting and praying there.

PART-10

(10) Develop the Habit of Speaking Concisely on the Phone

Women generally have the habit of talking for long durations on the phone. Only talk about what is necessary and relevant. This habit has many benefits: it saves time, protects from gossip, and prevents household conflicts, Insha’Allah.

PART-11

(11) Develop the Habit of Noting Important Things

Many women rarely remember important matters they need to tell their husbands or forget important tasks the husband asked them to do. This often leads to arguments in the home. Do not rely solely on memory; write things down.

PART-12

(12) Keep Necessary Items Organized and Accessible

Keep items that are urgently needed in a proper place at home so they can be found quickly when needed, such as medicine, keys, jewelry, etc. Sometimes, even these things can become a cause of disputes if not properly managed.

PART-13

(13) Do not do anything that causes you to fall in your husband’s eyes.

A wife should understand her husband’s temperament and keep the home environment good. Do not do anything that makes you lose respect in your husband’s sight. Live a truthful life with your husband; do not give him a reason for suspicion. Remember that a wife must spend her whole life with her husband — no one can take his place. Once one falls from that position, one cannot easily regain it. Hiding or enlarging faults is also a form of lying; with half the effort used to hide a fault, you can remove that fault.

PART-14

(14) Consult your husband regarding the children.

Consult your husband about the children’s education and upbringing. Provide children both religious and worldly education, but take special care of religious education. Do research about worldly education to determine which school is appropriate. Nowadays some schools teach rituals in the morning (e.g., prayer-like actions), and even Muslim children imitate this; from childhood their mindset is harmed. Take special care about this.

PART-15

(15) Do not delay in fulfilling your husband’s needs.

A wife should not procrastinate or be reluctant to fulfill her husband’s needs (desires); do not worry about small discomforts — this is a deed that brings reward. A wife’s refusal to fulfill her husband’s needs is a very dangerous wrongdoing, as it opens a path to sin for the husband.

There is a narration that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said if a wife is mounted and the husband calls her for his need, she should first fulfill his need. When a wife fulfills her husband’s need and then performs ghusl, with each drop of water her sins are forgiven. Among the signs before the Day of Judgment is that despite being healthy, wives will delay fulfilling their husband’s needs.

PART-16

(16) Comfort your husband in times of distress.

A wife should console her husband when she sees him troubled. This was the Sunnah of Hazrat Khadija (RA). When the first revelation came to the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), he was frightened, and Hazrat Khadija (RA) comforted and reassured him.

PART-17

(17) There is greatness in admitting mistakes and peace in silence.

When the husband points out a mistake of the wife, she should accept it gracefully. There is honor in this. Do not develop the habit of immediately replying harshly to everything the husband says, as harsh replies cause great damage to the home.

PART-18

(18) Express your heart’s sorrow only before Allah, the Almighty.

Instead of complaining to people or your husband, develop the habit of sharing your grief only with Allah. When the opportunity arises, make long du’as. Rather than telling your friends over the phone, tell Allah your heart’s pain.

PART-19

(19) Treat your husband’s relatives well.

Being good to your husband’s relatives is a moral obligation. Respect those whom your husband considers close. Overlook their mistakes. This act brings great reward and ends many conflicts.

PART-20

(20) Do not obey anyone in disobedience to Allah, the Almighty.

If obeying your husband or parents involves doing something against the commands of Allah, do not do it. Instead, strive so that family members also avoid disobeying Allah. Also try that your husband pledges allegiance to a righteous Shaikh, because the Shaikh’s advice can save the home from destruction. If the husband does not listen to others, at least he will listen to the Shaikh, and through the Shaikh’s advice he will fulfill his duties properly.