DOWRY IS A BRIBE
A person who takes a girl on the condition that the girl’s father gives him wealth in the form of dowry, this is a vile act.
And he becomes guilty of taking haram wealth. Because this comes under the category of bribery.
If a father-in-law takes something from his son-in-law because he married his daughter, Hanafi Fiqh has called it haram.
*THINGS TO THINK ABOUT*
Think about it: A father spends countless wealth on his daughter from birth for years on her upbringing, food, drink, clothes, treatment, etc.
But he has no right to take anything from the son-in-law. So what right does the son-in-law have to take someone’s daughter and also clean out his house?
The person who gives dowry to his daughter to save his honor, the son-in-law should refuse to take the dowry.
If he takes it, he will be committing a haram act. Because it is not known how the father arranged the dowry after facing hardship.
Or is he giving it just to save face? If these people are sincere in giving dowry to the daughter, then why do they not give inheritance?
If a person demands wealth from his in-laws like beggars, then he is a criminal morally, intellectually, and by Shariah in every way.
He is committing a major sin. It would have been better than this begging if he sat on a road or at the door of a mosque with a cloth spread.
And made his required money by asking from every passerby. At least those people would give the money happily.
Whereas he forcefully demands from his in-laws. Or he desires wealth thinking dowry is his right. Both these things are wrong.
See, women are servants of men. In return for her service, she eats, drinks, and wears from the man’s house.
And she also serves and does slavery for the husband’s children. If she gets divorced, she leaves everything and goes to her parents.
Meaning nothing from the husband’s house, wealth, or children belongs to her. So can any wise person say that a woman should serve her husband
and also bring wealth with her? So that the man does not have to work hard and gets everything for free?
There are also many people in society who waste lakhs or thousands of rupees on the dance of an immoral woman.
But they are not ready to give the lawful and proper Haq Mehr to their wife, who has to serve them for life.
*HOW THE GREEDY FOR DOWRY OPPRESS WOMEN*
The son-in-law presents a list of items to the father-in-law along with his beloved daughter.
The girl’s father somehow fulfills his list. Still this matter does not end.
Rather when he brings the wife home, after that also he sends demands to his in-laws: Give such and such things.
And if these things are not given, I will divorce your daughter. Now it becomes a strange problem for the parents. They do not understand what to do.
If the required things are given, then fine. Otherwise the girl gets divorce. Or she is slaughtered many times a day with a blunt knife.
Sometimes the girl, fed up, even commits suicide. See what flowers dowry has blossomed?
Due to not getting dowry, a man oppresses his wife. He taunts her. He troubles her.
In this way the relationship between husband and wife cannot remain pleasant. Rather disputes happen between them.
And these disputes are not between husband and wife but between two families. And disputes of two families are not small.
Rather it is a forest fire which burns many members of both families.
And it has come in the Hadith of Rasul Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam that:
“Shaitan is not as happy with anything as he is with the breaking of relations between husband and wife.”
The one hungry for dowry is begging. There he oppresses his wife. He troubles her. He demands haram wealth.
He fuels disputes between two families. He makes Shaitan happy. He makes Allah angry, etc.
Allah Ta'ala gave superiority to man over woman also because he spends on his wife and children.
If the woman bears the man’s expenses, then what is the use of this useless man?
*GREED IN TAKING DOWRY AND STINGINESS IN GIVING HAQ MEHR*
The concept of dowry is not in Islam. People prove dowry on the basis of false talks. And they taunt those who do not give dowry.
But on the other hand, Allah Ta'ala has ordered giving Haq Mehr many times in the Quran. But man is bent on rebellion against Allah Rabbul Izzat and support of Shaitan.
At the time of marriage he takes dowry, arranges songs, music, holds un-Sunnah invitations. And does not know what other wrong deeds he keeps doing.
But when the Molvi Sahab is brought to conduct the Nikah and he asks:
“Sir! How much Haq Mehr will you give?”
Then he twists his mouth and says: “Whatever Shariah says!”
He does not feel ashamed that from the engagement till the return of the baraat, rather from the departure till many days later,
the work he did was against Shariah. He kept pleasing Shaitan in them. But Haq Mehr, which is the right of the woman,
without which Nikah does not happen, if he gives even a lakh rupees out of true love for his wife, it would be permissible.
In this permissible work he is bent on being miserly.
If a person gives even a crore rupees in Haq Mehr, it will be permissible. Because this will be a favor upon his wife.
Haq Mehr is the right of the woman. The man has no authority in it. The woman can apply her Haq Mehr wherever she wants.
The man has no right to object to this.
If he makes a crore rupees the property of his wife, it will be completely correct. But it is sad that none of his customs were according to Shariah.
Only the Nikah Khutbah and payment of Haq Mehr were according to Shariah. In these he remembered Shariah.
Then if someone told that the Shari Haq is 25 rupees, he becomes happy hearing this.
And gives only 25 rupees to the woman as reward for lifelong service. Such great generosity, such great sacrifice? Subhanallah.
Some people succeed in doing a great favor to the wife by giving 100 or 500 rupees in Haq Mehr. Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Rajioon.
Some people give Haq Mehr in the evening. Then waking up early in the morning they say to the wife:
“The 500 rupees I gave in Haq Mehr at night, give me as a loan. I will give it to you on such and such day.”
The woman is poor and simple. She is somewhat in grief of separation from parents.
And she has some fear that she does not know how the new family will treat her.
In view of these things she is helpless. She gives all the money to her husband.
How would she know that he is deceiving her and taking money by lying? Then he will not return it?
So we will request the guardians of the girl to collect the Haq Mehr before Nikah.
Then when the girl goes to her in-laws, after 15-20 days she will become familiar with the home environment.
And she will also know her needs. Then at a suitable time hand over that money to your daughter. In this way the Haq Mehr becomes useful for the daughter.
Some people take dowry in cash or advance. But they make Haq Mehr on credit. This is also oppression.
In Haq Mehr, whether a man gives 100 rupees or a lakh, that work comes to his own home.
Then why do people hesitate in giving Haq Mehr?
*WHO WILL BEAR THE EXPENSE OF THE WEDDING PROCESSION*
All expenses coming on the wedding are the responsibility of the husband. But in the present era usually this happens:
The lavish feast of the entire baraat is also the responsibility of the girl’s family. Now tell, the girl’s family should give the daughter,
and also give trucks of dowry items with her, and also give lavish feast for the baraat. So where can the girl’s family bear such a big burden from halal earnings?
Obviously, to bear such a big burden, parents will collect wealth through unlawful means. Which is harmful for society in every way.
It is not necessary to give a lavish feast to feed the baraat. Rather hospitality can be done with dates and sharbat.
By giving a lavish feast a person holds his head high before people. But its religious and social harm is beyond limit.
The purpose of marriage is building a home. But with lavish feasts and dowry, it is not building a home but destroying a home.
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