Islamic Teachings on Divorce, Khula, and Marital Etiquettes in Islam
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce without a valid reason, the fragrance of Paradise becomes forbidden for her.” (Mishkat-ul-Masabih 283, Tirmidhi)
And he said: “Women who seek separation from their husbands and demand khula are women of hypocrisy.” (Mishkat-ul-Masabih 282, Nasai)
Allah has created men in need of women and women in need of men, and both are naturally dependent on each other for marriage. Islam did not ignore human nature but respected it, and it has forbidden zina, therefore marriage is not only recommended but in some cases obligatory. Some women have sharp temperaments and argue frequently with their husbands, even demanding rights that are not obligatory, showing ingratitude, and when every matter escalates to divorce, this is why Shariah did not give women the authority to pronounce divorce, otherwise it would happen repeatedly every day. Marriage is meant for lifelong companionship, not separation. If a man gives divorce, it is valid, but divorce itself is disliked in Islam. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Of all lawful things, the most hated in the sight of Allah is divorce.” (Abu Dawood)
Therefore demanding divorce or khula from the husband is against the Islamic nature of marriage, and such women have been called hypocrites in terms of behavior. Hypocrisy means showing one thing outwardly and being something else inwardly. The worst hypocrite is one who claims faith outwardly but does not act upon it. There are many signs of hypocrisy, and the Prophet said that four traits are found in a hypocrite: when entrusted he betrays, when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks it, and when he argues he behaves unjustly. (Bukhari and Muslim)
Divorce becomes effective as soon as it is pronounced. After divorce, when anger cools down, people regret it and say they did not intend divorce or were extremely angry, or the wife was pregnant or in menstruation, thinking divorce does not count in such conditions, but in reality divorce is connected to the words spoken. Whether in anger or satisfaction, whether the wife is pregnant or menstruating, once divorce is clearly pronounced it takes effect. Divorce is such a matter that even jokingly uttering it has legal effect. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that three things are serious whether said in seriousness or joking: marriage, divorce, and taking back a wife after revocable divorce.
When disputes increase, people approach scholars saying husband and wife love each other, children will suffer, please find a solution, but religious rulings cannot be changed by anyone. If reconciliation is not possible and divorce is necessary, then it should be given during a period when the wife is clean from menstruation, and only one clear pronouncement should be made. This is a revocable divorce in which the husband can take her back during the waiting period (iddah). If he wishes, he can reconcile without the wife’s consent. If he says “I have taken my wife back,” the reconciliation is valid. It is better to have witnesses to avoid disputes. If no reconciliation is made during iddah, the divorce becomes final (ba’in), but remarriage is still possible with mutual consent.
If reconciliation is done within iddah, the marriage continues but the divorce count remains. If again another divorce is given later, it adds up, and after the third divorce the separation becomes final and complete, and remarriage is not allowed unless the woman marries another man, that marriage is consummated, and then ends naturally through divorce or death, after which she may remarry her first husband. This is known as halala, but it is not something to be arranged or planned. The Prophet (peace be upon him) cursed both the one who arranges halala and the one for whom it is arranged.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that a woman who demands divorce repeatedly without reason or arranges separation is deprived of mercy. Divorce should not be used as a weapon in anger. Islam emphasizes patience, reconciliation, and restraint in marital disputes.
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