Rights of wifeTreat her with kindness and fairness
Fulfill wife’s rights with generosity.
Live with your wife in kindness, fulfill her rights generously. Allah ta'ala says, and live with them in a good manner. Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam guided on the occasion of hajjatul vida, people listen, treat women kindly because they are like captives with you. You have no right to treat them harshly, except when open disobedience comes from them. If they do that then separate from them in bed and beat them but not a beating that causes severe injury. And when they start obeying you then do not look for excuses to trouble them. Listen, you have some rights over your wives and your wives have some rights over you. Your right over them is that they do not let your beds be trampled by those whom you dislike, and they never let enter your homes those whose coming you dislike. And listen, their right over you is that you feed them well and clothe them well. Meaning arrange their food and drink in a way that befits the unmatched closeness, heartfelt relation, and spirit of companionship with a wife.
Have good opinion of wife as much as possible.
If she has any lack in looks, habits, character, or skill then bear it with patience. Look at her good qualities and overlook with wisdom. Allah ta'ala says, then if you dislike them for some reason, it may be that you dislike a thing and allah has placed much good in it.
Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, no believer should hate his believing wife. If he dislikes one habit of the wife, it may be that another quality pleases him.
Adopt forgiveness and kindness with wife.
Adopt forgiveness and kindness with wife. Overlook the wife’s ignorance and rebelliousness. Allah ta'ala says, o believers, some of your wives and children are enemies to you, so beware of them. And if you forgive and overlook and pardon, then surely allah is most forgiving, most merciful.
In one hadith huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, treat women well. Woman was created from a rib, and the most bent part of ribs is the upper part. If you try to straighten it, it will break. And if you leave it, it will remain bent. So treat women well.
Treat wife with good character and love.
Your real test of good character and soft nature is home life. Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, complete believers are those who are best in character among you, and the best among you are those who are best to their wives.
And do not be tight in spending. Feel peace and happiness by spending your earned money on family. Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, one dinar is what you spent in allah’s way, one dinar is what you spent to free a slave, one dinar is what you gave in charity to a poor, and one dinar is what you spent on your family. Among these, the greatest reward is for the dinar you spent on your family.
Teach wife deen.
Teach wife religious commands and manners, adorn her with islamic character. Make every effort that she becomes a good wife and a pious servant of god, and fulfills her duties well. Allah ta'ala says, o believers, save yourselves and your families from the fire of hell.
Allah ta'ala says, and remember what is recited in your homes of allah’s verses and wisdom.
Allah ta'ala says, and enjoin prayer on your family and be steadfast on it yourself.
Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, when a man wakes his wife at night and both together pray 2 rakats, the husband’s name is written among those who remember allah and the wife’s name among those women who remember allah.
Khalifa e saani hazrat umar radi allahu ta'ala anhu used to stand in worship at night. Then when dawn time came he would wake his wife and say, get up, pray namaz, and then he would recite this same ayat.
If you have more than one wife then treat all equally.
Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam paid great care to equality in dealing with his wives. Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, if a man has 2 wives and he does not treat them with justice and equality, then on the day of qiyamah that person will come in a state that half his body has fallen.
Wife should obey husband happily.
Wife should obey husband with full heart, and feel peace and happiness in obedience. Allah ta'ala says, righteous wives are obedient to husband.
Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, no woman should fast without husband’s permission.
Two kinds of people are those whose namaz does not rise above their heads. One, the namaz of a slave who runs away from his master, until he returns. And second, the namaz of that woman who disobeys her husband, until she stops disobeying.
Take care to protect your honor and chastity.
Stay away from all those things and acts from which there is fear of stain on chastity. God’s guidance demands this and it is also very necessary for a pleasant life. Because if any doubt or suspicion enters husband’s heart, then no service or goodness of the woman can attract the husband. And in this matter even a small neglect lets shaitan succeed in putting doubt in husband’s heart. Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, when a woman prays five times, protects her chastity, obeys her husband, then she may enter jannah from whichever door she wants.
Value the companionship of your husband.
Value this great blessing, thank god for this blessing. Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, no thing is found better for those who love than nikah.
Ummul momineen hazrat safiya radi allahu ta'ala anha had immense love for huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So when huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam fell ill, she said with deep longing, i wish i fell ill instead of huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Other ummul momineen looked at her with surprise at this expression of love, so huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, this is not show, she is telling the truth.
Do not leave home without husband’s permission.
It is not permissible for a woman who believes in god to allow in her husband’s home any person whose coming the husband dislikes, and to leave home in a way that her going out is disliked by husband, and to obey someone else in husband’s matter.
Meaning in husband’s matter act only on husband’s wish and sign, and never adopt others’ advice against him. Always try to keep husband happy by your words, deeds and manners. This is the secret of successful married life, and this is also the way to god’s pleasure and jannah. Huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, any woman who dies in a state that her husband is pleased and happy with her, she will enter jannah.
In one hadith huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, when a man calls his wife for sexual need and she does not come, and because of this husband remains upset with her all night, then angels curse such a woman till morning.
Be thankful for husband’s favor.
Your greatest benefactor is your husband who remains engaged in keeping you happy in every way. He fulfills your every need and feels peace by giving you comfort. Hazrat asmaa radi allahu ta'ala anha says huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, beware of ingratitude to those who do favor to you. One of you stays unmarried for long at her parents’ home, then god grants her a husband. Then god blesses her with children. Despite all these favors, if she ever gets upset with husband on some matter, she says i never saw any good from you.
Warning the ungrateful and forgetful wife, huzoor sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, on the day of qiyamah god will not even look toward that woman who is ungrateful to husband, though a woman can never be free of need from husband.
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